5 Things I Hate

This is a nice wee tangent i've got going on here... so uplifting! After sharing the 5 things i'm bad at, I thought what better to do than share the 5 things I hate - standard right? ;-) Well not exactly, hate isn't exactly the emotion I aim to promote, and is definitely a stronger word than I like to use, but i'm exploring my own boundaries with this blogging thing, so I'm diving over into my discomfort, and I hope you enjoy! So lets get on with it:

1. Hypocrisy - noun; the practice of claiming to have higher standards or more noble beliefs than is the case. 
Not a lot bugs me more than when someone persecutes me (or someone else), for something they do/have done themselves. But one thing that does bug me more, is the fact that I do it too, in fact i'm almost certain everybody does... which in turn makes us all hypocrites - which of course bugs me to my very bones. So I guess you could call me a hypocrite for saying it's something I hate, ha?

2. To Bear False Witness -  1. Speaking falsely in any matter, lying, equivocating, and any way devising and designing to deceive our neighbour. 2. Speaking unjustly against our neighbour, to the prejudice of his reputation; and (which involves the guilty of both).
Lying, cheating, deceiving - it's all wound up in that same thing, and I hate it... all of it. But what I hate most of all is that it's a part of each and every one of our characters, as we are our environment, we intoxicate each other with poison, growing up in a web of lies - and that fact distresses me, in every fibre of my being. But I am thankful for the hope of escaping that web, of finding light in the dark places - I am thankful that I can change my environment, I can change myself.

3. Society's Depiction of "Love"- noun; a strong feeling of affection. 
Key word being "feeling" - THAT is the depiction I hate. I hate that we're brought up believing that love is measured by the "feeling", and so teaching us that when we lose that "feeling", we have lost, or are losing that love that we so desperately desire. I believe love is a choice, our OWN decision, and how someone else makes us "feel", doesn't determine whether we are loved or not. Someone could message you once in a week when they are crippled with time consuming expectation, in an act of love; and in turn you may despise the fact that they messaged you only once, in your long, vacant week, leaving you to "feel" unloved. Where as someone could also buy you a nice gift, as a way of distracting you while they deceive you; and in turn, oblivious to that motive, you may be filled with joy, with a "feeling" of love, when in reality you are being the opposite of loved. Am I painting a clear enough picture for you?

4. "Religion" - noun; a particular system of faith and worship. 
This may be misinterpreted, so let me iron out the wrinkles. I do not by any means hate RELIGIONS, what I hate is the key words in that definition "particular system", and the chaos they cause. I believe that no one person should have the same "system" as another person. Although I am a Christian, and believe the only way to the Father is through the Son, I do hate the religion that is buried under, I hate that the beauty of our salvation is buried by fear of persecution and obligation, keeping so many seeking people at arms length, because they aren't taught through love, but instead by fear. I hate that man has created rules and daunting obligation in which they say determines a persons worth.

5. Assumption - noun; a thing that is accepted as true or as certain to happen, without proof.
Something every single one of us does, and admittedly sometimes it saves time, and is useful. What I hate, is that it often stems from miscommunication and causes misunderstanding, an then goes on to create an AVOIDABLE argument. As they say, to assume is to make an "ass" out of "u" and "me".

Now that you've seen the darkest places in my mind, I hope you go on to enjoy the day/night ahead of you - but I mostly hope that you see the light that shines brighter than the hate. Thank you for taking the time to read my words, leave a comment so I know who i'm thanking.

All the love in the world,

Mikayla Katherine xx

5 Things I'm Bad At

After 7 months without a blog post, I thought it was time I jumped back in the game - and what better way to start than insulting my abilities to do things? Joking, but I am going to write down a handful of things that I could be a LOT better at, and that I want to start working towards improving... and what better place to put it than the internet? The one place i'll never be able to delete it from so will always be held accountable ;-) So lets dive right into it, starting with the obvious one:

1. Blogging - but not just blogging, making time to do anything that takes effort and energy... no matter how happy it makes me! Not an ideal thing to be bad at, it all comes down to lack of self motivation, which i'm sure a LOT of people have struggled with - and if they can do it, why can't I?

2. Sticking to plans/goals - seriously though, i'm SO bad. My new years resolution track record is 2 days of effort, and 363 days of YOLO, and my workout history is "that was a great workout, that earned me a tub of icecream!". I'm 20 now, a mum, a girlfriend and a young adults leader... I think it's time to start practising self discipline - if I can't do it, how can I expect other people to?

3. Napping - I don't mean i'm bad at napping, I mean I'm bad at NOT napping. You know sometimes I find myself reading, tidying, writing or even just chilling out watching a Todd White video and I suddenly get so incredibly tired (with no real excuse - I get at least 5 hours of sleep most nights which could be a lot worse with a baby) and then I think, "If I sleep for 10 minutes, it will re energise me, and then I can do this task 100% better... Kadee's napping, so why can't I?!". Then I fall asleep, wake up to my alarm and push snooze until Kadee wakes up and I've done absolutely nothing, and feel awful and groggy - and I know it doesn't help, yet I still do it. Logic? Seriously need to work on that... maybe a doctors appointment is in order to find away to be energised. Any tips would be more than appreciated!

4. Eating - or should the real answer be "cooking"? I'm not a bad cook, i'll give myself that - but motivating myself to actually do it is a whole other story. I procrastinate to the point where I wont cook myself food because "I don't have time" or any other excuse, so I go a day without eating and then binge on a ginormous meal when my boyfriend comes over with takeaways or when I go to my parents for our weekly family meal... or i'll just eat a loaf of bread because why the heck not? Don't worry guys Kadee eats well, but I'm definitely hoping to smash out a cooking routine so we can eat together like normal people. I would say "mum life", but I don't think it applies here, I think it's more like "lazy 20 year old in denial that she's an adult life". And finally...

5. Self Care - I'm starting to catch on to the fact that, a big part of why I feel like it's SO hard to do these things is because I don't look after myself. I spend so long stressing out about things, investing all my energy in that when what I should be doing is investing my time and energy into taking care of myself so I can go on in life's battle clear headed, navigating more easily and calmly. So I suppose that's the ultimate goal here, perhaps that's what this blog will end up being about - but hey, I clearly don't know all the answers, so we will see what happens.

Until next time,

Mikayla Katherine x